Struggle

Last week, in a desire to try something new, I bought a xiao (pronounced like “show” in the word “shower”).  A xiao is a Chinese flute, usually made of bamboo and is a bit more of a challenge to play as compared to the typical Native American style flute.  With NASF flute, you blow into the mouthpiece and the structure of the air chambers creates the embouchure that brings about sound.  With many other types of flutes including the xiao, the embouchure is created by the position of the flute in relation to the mouth and the shape in which one holds the mouth.  With the NASF, producing sound is relatively easy (but playing well takes time and practice).  With the xiao, producing sound and playing well are both more difficult:  It is more of a struggle.

As I started playing with my new xiao, I could hear a tune I wanted to play in my head, but it I had difficulty bringing what I heard in my mind out of the flute.  I’m far from an expert, but because I’ve had experience with embouchure on a few other flutes in the past, I made some headway.  As the song started to form, I realized that Struggle would be both a good title and a good subject for this blog entry.

My friend Rona Yellow Robe has a very special song for NASF called Caterpillar and Butterfly.  She and Bruce Witham created this song based on what Rona came to learn about the struggles of a newly formed butterfly.  In that metamorphosis, the caterpillar’s skin molts, and the chrysalis emerges and the butterfly forms within that chrysalis.  When it is time for the butterfly to emerge, it will struggle to extricate itself from the chrysalis.  But, as Rona points out in her description of her song, if you decide the butterfly needs your help and you pull the chrysalis away, the butterfly will fall to the ground and die.  That happens because the struggle to emerge from the chrysalis is what also finishes developing the strength needed for flight.

And we can see in the human realm as well the difference between those who have had to struggle and work for what they have in life as compared to those who’ve had most everything handed to them without having to earn it. 

But is all struggle useful?  There is definitely another edge to this sword.  You could say that the opposite of struggle is often surrender.  I don’t mean this in the sense of surrender to an enemy or competitor, but in the sense of giving up control.  We’ve all been a part of (or at least witnessed) teenage angst when it comes to the subject of love.  A young person falls hopelessly in love with someone who does not return their affection.  They struggle to be noticed.  They struggle to become more attractive in a way that they believe will garner results.  But the object of their affection does not feel the same and, at some point, surrender to the reality of the situation is inevitable. 

There is often a beauty in surrender.  It often comes in the form of surrendering control over a situation – learning to go with the flow.

And yet, these two concepts are not always mutually exclusive.  Take the subject of addiction.  Who do you know who has managed to get their better of their addiction?  Often times, this requires surrender; that hitting of rock bottom.  The addicted person eventually seeks help.  Then the struggle comes into play.  And in that struggle the addicted person can gain the strength through experience to master their situation.

How do we know when we are struggling when we should surrender or when we think we should surrender when the fruits of struggle will be sweeter?  Wisdom.  I’ve seen that wisdom is not innate.  It comes with time and experience.

And so, I dedicate my first xiao piece (as primitive as it is) to those who struggle, to those who surrender, and mostly to those who are obtaining the wisdom to discern what is best.

The song Struggle is below.  Please take a listen.